Friday, August 8, 2008

Things That Ought To Be Surprising But Sadly Aren't:

by Rude One, the rude pundit, August 8, 2008

Straight guys, you know how it goes. If it's not you, it's your friends, although at least part of the way, c'mon, it's you. When you're a kid, you can get off on a particularly sassy-looking underwear model in a Macy's ad. But pretty soon that's not enough. And you sneak a look at your first online naked woman, starting with the gracefully airbrushed artificial breasts and delicately photoshopped crotches of Playboy or something. Pretty soon that's not enough. So you make the leap to wide open legs, staring at pussy lips and glory holes as you yank it. You need more. You start heading over to the video sites, downloading fuck films, and there's an ascending order of intensity, each step of which you begin to need in order to even get hard, moving from straight-on fucking to blow jobs to anal to double and triple penetrations to gang bangs. Each time you move up a step, the previous ones are just worthless. You look at some pictures of the Girls of Wal-Mart or some such layout, and you think, "Gimme a break. I just watched a video of two chicks 69ing each other while getting fucked in the ass by a goat as twenty other dudes jack off and cover them with jizz." It's sad, how one can no longer appreciate the complex beauty of the curves and lines of the female body, how the thrill is, indeed, gone.

If we apply this analogy to America, today, in mid-2008, we've become a bloated twenty-five year old in a dark room who can't even masturbate to a snuff film of kidnapped adolescent Latino girls forced to fight naked to the death with machetes, cheered on by the local cops, and the winner gets chained up and raped repeatedly until she bleeds out and horribly expires. Nah, we think when someone shows us what they think is truly hardcore shit. What else ya got? >>READ MORE

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